Fortunately, there are precautions to teach your children which will significantly reduce the risks of them becoming another statistic as a victim of stranger abduction. Teach your children these recommended precautions and prevention tips as another fact of life and realize that they must be taught over and over again – once is not enough. Explain that most adults will not hurt them and that adults do not need children to help them – they need other adults. The slogan is “NO, GO, TELL.” Say no, then go and tell someone. Role-play child lures with your children so they can see first-hand how easy it can be to be tricked and, more importantly, what they should do in those situations. An informed child is a safer child.

Teach your children about the facts of abduction early. If handled in a simple and matter-of-fact manner, they will not be unnecessarily frightened by the idea of abduction.

» Define what a stranger is and who they are. It could be the best-dressed, cleanest cut individual or someone in scruffy clothes. Strangers who abduct children look like normal people – many are people that children would trust. Isn't that what we were told – you'll know a stranger when you see one?? No longer! Strangers who kidnap children are cunning and smart. They will have answers for everything your child tells them. Most children will tell you a stranger is someone they have never met or seen. While this is true we need to explain that a stranger is also somebody they don't know well; for instance, a person they see on the street corner every day (mailman, jogger) or someone in the hallway at school (teacher, older student). You should also teach your children that casual knowledge should not interfere with their judgment in their own world. For example, an employee from daddy's office they see at the playground – they may say hello but should realize that this adult is still a stranger.

» Listen to your children – carefully. Encourage them to tell you if they suspect something is wrong and praise them when they do tell you. Believe them and don't brush off their suspicions by thinking that this four-year-old child could not possibly be telling me the truth. Children do not lie about what has happened to them or to their friends. Tell them that they will never be punished for telling. If you can't be there, teach them who else they could tell: policemen, teachers, school nurse, family doctor, trusted neighbor, or friend. Even their best friend's mother. Make sure your children know you will listen to them.

» Teach your children their full name, area code and phone number, address, and city where they live. Teach them your names, as they know you only as mommy and daddy. Have your children do a project in which they write these things down and explain to them how important this information is – even if they just get lost.

» Children must know how to use a telephone. Teach them how to call and talk to the operator, how to use a pay phone, and how to make a long distance call. As we stated in Parental Abductions Precautions , let your children make your long distance calls for you. This way they will become confident when they realize that the phone is a communication tool and a lifeline to you. You will have to explain that a pay phone needs money to work, so perhaps you could always have your children carry change to use only for emergencies, not to buy candy, etc.

» Teach your children about vacant lots and isolated places such as ravines, creeks, and wooded areas. Even homes under construction or those deserted make for wonderful play areas. Go with your child and be familiar with their favorite hiding place, where the “gang” plays, and any other places they might frequent, even though you have told them not to play there. If your child is abducted or goes missing, all these places must be searched.

» Teach your children the buddy system. Encourage them to play in pairs or groups. Children usually like to do this anyway and it could protect them. Potential abductors look for children who play alone or walk to and from school, etc. by themselves. It just makes their task that much easier.

» Shopping malls, fairs, exhibitions, large stores, and parks are all places where abduction occurs. Your children should be kept in sight at all times or be at your side. DO NOT let your child use the washrooms alone. Go into the washroom with them and wait there. It does them no good for you to wait out in the hall or at some pre-arranged meeting place. Beaches are notorious for this. Remember, between the washroom and you can be miles of open space. Never leave your children unattended. It takes less than thirty seconds to break into a vehicle and that is all the time it would take to abduct a child.

» When your children reach an age where they can play with limited supervision, establish or become familiar with the Block Parent Program in your area. Teach them what the sign looks like and that it means any house displaying such a sign is a “safe house” where they can go if they are in trouble or need help. Each hose showing a Block Parent sign has been thoroughly screen by police.

» If you are in a situation where your children have to be home alone for any period of time and they are of an age where they don't need constant supervision, teach them how to lock the doors and windows. Make sure all the doors and windows have good locks on them. Tell them that, under no circumstances, are they to open the door for anyone. They need not even answer the doorbell as whoever is there probably needs help from an adult. Let your children know you will have a key to get in. The same principle applies to the phone. Teach them not to answer the phone unless you are home. However, if they do, NEVER EVER say that they are home alone but rather that you are home and just cannot come to the phone right now.

» Post all emergency numbers by the phone. These should include, police, fire, ambulance, your work number, the number of a trusted friend or relative. Tell your children if they suspect something is wrong to call you at once. Make sure that your phone number is on the phone itself as well as your address. In a panic situation, few children can recall this information. In fact, few adults can either. This is of benefit for babysitters too.

» The code word: use this system with your children. It can be fun by using simple words; for instance, their favorite food, cartoon character, toy, etc. The procedure is simple:

· Establish the code word.

· Reinforce it every day, perhaps at the breakfast table.

· Change the word once it has been used and NEVER use it again.

· Reinforce that this word is never to be told to anyone else, EVER.

· Explain that they are to ask everyone who approaches them: “What is the code word?” Explain that if the grown up can volunteer the correct word, that it is safe to go with them as you have sent them.

· Explain that if the grown up cannot volunteer the correct word, or fumbles for it, that they DO NOT GO with that person for any reason - that they should say NO – GO AND TELL SOMEONE; then they should call you.

The idea behind the code word is to allow your children some judgment with safeguards. The most important thing to stress is not repeating that word to anyone else. That this is the one secret that is OK to keep. They should not even tell their best friends. Teach your children safe places to go for help should this happen, i.e.: stores with clerks, policemen, teachers, security guards, etc. Display your pride and praise your child for following your instructions. This is positive reinforcement and consistent obedience could save your child's life. This system must be handled with meticulous attention to be effective – but it does work.

» Does your child know that screaming is OK? Teach your child when to scream – long and hard. The idea is to attract attention to themselves. Better a minor disturbance that a missing child. Teach your children that it is OK to scream and help them practice doing it. We have taught our children for too long to be quiet.

» Teach your children that they are NEVER to accept gifts, candy, toys, pets, etc., from anyone without you being there in person to give your permission. Explain that this is a frequent child lure and that if they accept or go with that person it could be trouble.

» NEVER, EVER allow your children to approach a car to give directions, or to speak to someone in that car. Teach them that adults need help from other adults, not from children. Tell them that if they are in this situation to back away from the car as they say no. Tell them not to wait around for conversation but rather go for help immediately. Teach your children to walk towards oncoming traffic so they can always see approaching cars; this way they will not be jumped from behind.

» Avoid dressing your children in clothing with their name on it. “Jane” makes it so easy for a stranger to approach her. The child will reason that if this person knows my name they must know me, so it's OK to go with them. We know this isn't true but children don't. So you must reinforce the idea that not everyone who knows their name actually knows them. We do not recommend that young children ever wear clothing with their name on it, as they will not remember this. As knowing a child's name is an important tool for the abductor, teach your children if they are approached when they are wearing this clothing that they are to quickly walk away and go for help. Tell them to call you. If the adult is legitimate, they will not mind the child checking with you.

» Teach your children about child lures. Kidnappers are inventive and prey on the vulnerability of young children – those same children we have taught to respect adults and be polite to them. What we frequently forget to mention is that not all adults are deserving of their respect and that it is more OK to question them. Again, stress that adults should ask other adults for help.

» Make sure your children understand that no one has the right to touch them in their private zones or anywhere else it feels uncomfortable. This includes strangers of course, but also includes family members, friends, babysitters, and teachers. Make sure they know you will listen to them and that they will always be believed. Teach your children the correct names for male and female anatomy so if something should happen to them they will know exactly what to tell you. Again, young children do not lie about sexual or physical abuse nor do they seduce or “ask” for it.

» Take some time to know your children's routes to and from school by walking it with them. If you move or if the child changes schools then the procedure should be repeated. Teach your children why they should avoid vacant lots, large fields (great shortcuts), and other dangerous areas. Should one side of the street have bushes and hedges, teach them to walk on the other side.

» Choosing a babysitter, preschool, or daycare centre is deserving of your caution. Check references and qualifications. If your child is being cared for outside your home make a surprise visit to see just how your child is being looked after. If there are washrooms and kitchens check them out. You can tell a lot by how these areas are kept. Know exactly who is caring for your child.

» Instruct anyone caring for your child, whether it be babysitters, teachers or other school personnel, friends, or relatives that you will always be responsible for collecting your children and that they are not to be released to anyone else without your permission first. Advise these people that you will notify them ahead of time if those plans change. When that substitute person goes to pick up your child they should be asked for identification. You should also speak to your child and tell him/her what those arrangements will be.

» Establish an absentee reporting system in your children's schools. This serves as a call back system for children who do not arrive at school. The volunteers would be responsible for calling the homes of children who are absent at roll call to verify that the parents know the whereabouts of their children. There are several different systems. If one is already established in your child's school, know how it works.

» Children should never be allowed to play outside after dark. They should also not be given the opportunity to walk home from a friend's house even if it is only one block away. If they must be out at night make sure an adult is with them, preferably you. Not even the buddy system can prevent abduction at night.

» Teach your children that if they feel they are being followed to turn and walk in the other direction. If the car or pedestrian follows them they should go quickly to the nearest house or store and tell someone what is happening. Tell your children to ask that person to call the police. Then they should call you.

» Teach yourself and your children to be on the alert. If you notice a car or a person hanging around your neighborhood and it does not seem quite right to you, make a point of looking at the license plate number on the vehicle and the person(s) in the car. In order to remember what you have seen ask yourself questions like: How many people in the car? What do they look like? What kind of car is it? What are those people wearing? If it is a person walking around the neighbourhood ask yourself: Have I seen this person before? What is he/she wearing? What does he/she look like? If you can write those things down they could be very helpful later. Tell your children that if they do notice something fishy to let you know. You in turn should call the police and report the incident. This information could save a child's life. That child could be yours.

» Develop an identification file on each of your children, even your spouse. If your community has initiated a free fingerprinting or video-imprinting program – USE IT. Such a program should be thorough and include the following:

· Fingerprints of each finger.

· Footprints of infants.

· Colour photograph changed every six months with a new one.

· Physical description (height, weight, eye and hair colour, birth date, etc.).

· Medical information (allergies, blood type, illnesses, etc.).

· Name of family doctor and phone number.

· Sample of the youngster's handwriting if applicable.

· Tape recording of the youngster's voice if possible.

· Dental records.

Be careful choosing a program that is right for you. Child Find has this program in many communities. The police should NOT have copies on file and usually don't want them anyway. Neither should you think this will be all you have to do to protect your child – it is only the first step of many. Don't lock up this record where you cannot get to it on weekends and holidays. We suggest that you store it in your house in a safe but accessible place. Always take this record when you vacation as abduction happens anywhere. This would be a record you could take immediately to the police and they will have an accurate record to go on. Remember that you have the only copy.

» Read books and resource material to better educate yourself on how to talk to your children about abduction, sexual abuse, and physical touching. An informed parent is a more understanding parent.

» Most adults cannot stand the thought of teaching their children about these subject matters. Quite simply, that is why the problem of missing and abused children is growing in this country. In order to prevent this tragedy from happening we must talk with our children and educate ourselves as parents. It is our responsibility. Sure, no one wants to look into those angelic and trusting faces and discuss the fact that some adults hurt children. But as long as we fail to do so we are raising potential victims. Too many children have died or suffered a brutal assault because they were not taught the skills to protect and defend themselves.

» Realize that if you are not part of the solution then you are part of the problem. Take that trusted responsibility and initiate the solution by being preventative. Help your children identify danger.

As John Walsh realized after his son Adam was kidnapped and found murdered, if he had taught Adam how to scream, maybe he would be alive today.

We believe that paranoia is better than having to identify a child's body in the morgue. We hope you do too.